The Little Thing ABout Names And Dictionaries
by afickleflakes
Summary: A collection of humorous D.Gray-Man one-shots. Enjoy.
1. Malay Dictionaries

Humor fic

ONESHOT!

Disclaimer: I do not own D.Gray-Man. Hoshino Katsura does.

A/N: Right. I dug up some funny interesting info and I'd like to put it on. Credits, I got inspiration from a fic where the author placed a section that said a little something about our favourite DGM characters' names. So, I did a little digging and this is what I came up with.

* * *

Allen: Lavi! Where were you? We were supposed to have lunch just now! And I'm starving!

Lavi: Alright, alright moyashi-chan. I'm coming, I'm coming.Allen: Hey, guess what?

Lavi: Hmm?

Allen: I found Kanda's name in a Malay dictionary I was reading. It was an old edition so I'm not sure it still is the same meaning. And guess what, I found YOUR name too!Lavi: Really? I needa know what it means! What does it mean?

Allen: It means _larvae. _Your name means _LARVAE!_-cackles manically-

Lavi: What…? My n-name…

Allen: Oh and Kanda is what Malay wives call their husbands. –laughs then walks off to the cafeteria by himself leaving sad and traumatized Lavi-

* * *

A/N: How'd you guys like it for a one-shot? XD Reviews please! I know its short, you don't have to state. XD 


	2. Green hair and Levees

Oneshot!

Humor Fic

Disclaimer: I do not own D.Gray-Man. Hoshino Katsura does.

A/N: YaY! I'm back with another short oneshot cause I can't bring myself to typing my main fic which is like, going to be sixteen chapters long; I'm typing the 16th chapter. Oh well. Here goes nothing. Cause I'm friggin bored. –grin-

* * *

Lenalee: Allen, I'm bored.

Allen: Me too. –Glances over at Lenalee-

Lenalee: What? –Cocks head to the side-

Allen: I didn't know you twirl your hair.

Lenalee: I don't.

Allen: You were just doing it.

Lavi: -Buts into their conversation- Heys Lenalee, Moyashi!

Allen: -Glares at Lavi-

Lenalee: Hey Lavi.

Allen: -Looks at Lenalee- Lenalee, did you hear about that funny instalment Singapore's going to have with effect due to global warming?

Lenalee: Nope.

Allen: Well, since I'm not too sure about it...-Looks at Lavi- Can you explain, Lavi?

Lavi: -Smiles- Sure.

Lenalee: Go on.

Lavi: -Clears throat- Well, Singapore's Minister Mentor is planning on having a Levee built around Singapore-

Lenalee: -Bursts into giggles-

Lavi: -Stops explaining- What?

Allen: Well, er, your name kinda is erm... how do I put this... Related to that word. I don't think it's funny though. It's more insulting then the fact from the previous chapter-

Lavi: Shut the hell up. (murmuring)

Allen: Sorry. So, Lenalee, care to explain why it's funny?

Lenalee: -Shakes head, still giggling- I gotta go. It's about time for the Science Department's coffee break. They'll be expecting me. See you guys later!-Runs off towards the kitchen-

Lavi: That was incredibly mean. I don't know why I don't call her veggie head. Her hair is green.

Allen: It's black Mr Know-It-All. Just has a greenish effect with the light.

Lavi: It's still green in the light.

Allen: Ah whatever. Hey, wanna grab lunch?

Lavi: Sure. Let's go before there's a line for you to hold up ordering food.

Allen: -Punches Lavi in the shoulder-

* * *

A/N: Yes it's boring but I dun care. I am bored after all. Bye Bye! 


	3. Snow is white and So is Allen's hair

One-shot Humour fic.

Disclaimer: I do not own D.Gray-Man. Hoshino Katsura does.

A/N: I'm bored. Let's see what nonsense I come up with this time. X)

* * *

It's a snowy day.

Lenalee, Lavi and Allen are having a snowball fight outside.

Lenalee: Get ready guys! I'm totally gonna OWN you! –grins-

Lavi: BAH! Who says?! We guys are stronger than you _girl wussies!_

Allen: Uh, Lavi, you shouldn't make her angry…

Lavi: -raises an eyebrow at Allen- Oh, so you wanna protect your girlfriend? –laughs-

Allen: -punches Lavi's head face first into snow- Say another word of it, and you die.

Lavi: -gets up- owww… That hurt, BAKA MOYASHI!

Lenalee: Hey, will you two stop acting like kids and hurry up and start?

Lavi: Yeah yeah.

So the snowball fight begins…

-_Two hours later-_

Lenalee: -stands on a large pillar of snow, laughing- I CLAIM THIS SNOW PILLAR! And, -she looks down at the red piece of hair popping out from the snow- I _win._

Lenalee digs up Lavi, who is freezing after being buried in snow that long.

Lenalee: Hey, where's Allen?

Lavi: I-I d-don't kn-know a-and I-I d-don't c-care… C-cold-d-d-d-d.

Lenalee: Allen-kun! Allen-kun!

A muffled sound is heard from under them.

Lenalee: Ah! I think it's Allen! –starts to dig furiously-

Lavi: C-can we j-just g-go inside-d and g-get some h-hot ch-chocolate?

Lenalee: Hurry and help me so we can get those sooner!

Lavi: -shivers- Step back.

Lenalee steps back.



Lavi: H-Hi-Ban!-pillar of flames explodes- Hachoo!

Lenalee: EEH! Stop! You'll burn him alive!

Allen emerges, half burnt, in a puddle of melted snow.

Lenalee: Allen-kun! Are you alright?

Allen: -no reply-

_Later…_

Once inside, Allen wakes up after a few hours' rest.

Lavi: Ah, Moyashi-chan, you're awake.

Allen: BAKE MONO!(monster) –bonks Lavi's head with his fist-

Lavi: OW! WTF WAS THAT FOR?!

Allen: YOU NEARLY BURNED ME ALIVE!-fume-

Lenalee enters the room carrying a bowl of cold water and a towel because Allen had a fever.

Lavi: OH?! THEN HOW THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE WERE SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHERE YOU WERE?!

Allen: MY HAIR WAS POPPING OUT OF THE SNOW!

Lenalee sweat dropped.

Lenalee: Allen-kun, snow is white.

Lavi: Yeah, and what colour do you think your hair is?

Allen: IT'S WHITE!

Lavi: Exactly my point.

Lenalee: -hands on hips- If your hair is white and snow is white, how did you expect us to find you?

Allen: O.O

Lavi: Idiot.

* * *

A/N: hahaha. That was so random. x)


	4. Leeches and Lovebites

Word Prompt: Leech

Disclaimer: I do not own D.Gray-Man. Hoshino Katsura does.

A/N: Okay, honestly, I have NO idea how something like this came to mind. To be honest, my brother and I were sitting the dinner table, just after sunset. We were talking about love-bites and leeches. Then I wondered aloud if leeches, when pulled off someone's arm forcefully, made this reddish-pinkish spot that was slightly (only _slightly_) raised. Like a hickey. So, discussing the humour of trying to yank off a leech, the '_eekh eekh' _sound, I came up with this. Haha. Enjoy!

* * *

Yes. Time for a scheme.

What else could a young Bookman apprentice, tired of studying, hope to do on a beautiful Saturday like _this_?

Lavi had invited Allen out to go fishing at a little pond he'd discovered at the back of HQ.

The red head also knew that there were _leeches _in that pond.

"Lavi, you didn't bring a fishing rod…?"

Lavi chuckled, twirling his miniature hammer in his hand as they walked.

"I brought a net, and though it's not as fun as fishing, it sure lets one get some great exercise, chasing fishes around."

Allen gave him a weird look, but Lavi didn't care. He grinned.

This was all part of his plan.

* * *

When they arrived at the pond, Allen set down his fishing rod (who knew he even had one?!).

Lavi got around to chasing fishes immediately as nets did not require any form of adjusting or setting up, like a fishing rod.

Allen stood up and walked around the pond, fishing rod at the ready, looking for a perfect spot to fish, still clueless of Lavi's evil scheme.

Just then, Lavi, 'chasing a fish' , slammed into him, knocking Allen into the water.

Allen flew into the murky water with a startled yelp as Lavi faked surprise, attempting to 'save' Allen before he went in, to no avail.

* * *

Allen had washed himself up, and stood, newly showered and dressed in Lavi's room, a vein twitching on his forehead, threatening to burst.

Lavi attempted to yank the leech that stuck onto Allen's collarbone off, but the little creature was persistent.

After a while, the red head gave up.

"Let's go ask Komui. Maybe the Science Department can do something about it."

* * *

However, when they arrived at the large office full of paper, Reever was in charge as Komui had gone off somewhere, probably slacking and instead trying to create a new type of Komurin of sorts.

Reever looked at the little black creature that stuck to Allen's collarbone and immediately called Johnny and a couple of other scientists.

They lined up, and with Reever right in front, directly in contact with the leech, Lavi in the back, pulling the line of scientists before him, began heaving, trying to pull the leech off.

By the time they'd succeeded, Komui had come back into the room, and Allen, in his white dress-shirt had a little red spot on his collarbone.

The leech had come off Allen and scrambled off somewhere into someone's cup of boiling hot coffee, and, of course, perished.

Reever and his team of leech-yanking scientists lay sprawled on the floor, exhausted. That was one _tough _leech.

But Komui's maniacal voice had come screaming at them, and they shot up to a sitting position instantly.

"LOOK! I'VE GOT A NEW KOMURIN!"

* * *

Talk about disastrous.

But Lavi could only chuckle softly. Everything was going according to plan.

* * *

Komui spotted the little pink spot on Allen's collarbone as he helped the other scientists up.

He rushed over and inspected it intently before screaming out in sheer horror.

Thus busting Allen's eardrums.

"ALLEN WALKERRRRR! HOW DARE YOU HAVE A LOVEBITE ON YOUR SHOULDER FROM MY LENALEE!"

Allen nearly destroyed the Scientists' eardrums this time.

"W-WHAT?!"

* * *

Lavi ran out of the room.

Things were getting exciting now…

* * *

Allen shot out of the paper flooded office, dashing madly for anywhere but where Komui and his new destructive Komurin were.

The blush on his cheeks convinced Komui that he _had _gotten a hickey from Lenalee.

Now, the hunt for Allen Walker was on.

* * *

Well, it just so happens that later, Lenalee found Allen passed out on her doorstep, and she brought him in, hiding him from her maniacal brother in the last place he would look for Allen.

Because Komui thought Allen didn't have the audacity to hide with his sister and do anything mischievous.

So after putting Allen to sleep properly in her own bed, Lenalee had flew about HQ on her Dark Boots, hunting her crazy brother down.

She eventually found him and smashed his robot's head in.

Thus was the end of Komurin V.

* * *

A/N: haha. I was bored. X) so yeah, when I'm bored don't expect too much. Heehee.


	5. Notice

Okay.

MORE URGENT NOTICES~!

Right, so I haven't updated for ages, at all.

And, nothing's been going on here.

BUT

I have actually started writing the Devil's Symphony. (:

I've already written the prologue and have just completed the first chapter.

I will not be posting it on until further notice.

I intend on finishing the whole fic first, so I can do an overall edit, and when I'm finished writing it, I will update every fortnight/every two weeks.

So, if you wish to read the unedited versions of each chapter before I post it here, they can be found on my blog.

(http:// www. th- night- songstress. blogspot. com/) (remove the spacings.)

But please scroll down to find them. Plus, there'll be headings.

I hope you wish me the best of luck and pray I update the collection of drabbles I write. (:

My sincere thanks and apologies for upsetting any of you.

Astaline Nihtingale.


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